Ten Dodgy Reasons for Going Home Early From Work.

1. The dodgy milk from the dodgy milk fridge has turned my tummy.
2. My ears are blocked. This isn’t that dodgy when your whole working life depends on listening.
3. I’m feeling ‘emotional’. Workplaces don’t put enough emphasis on mental health—I think occasionally going ‘sick’ for emotional reasons is a way to help everyone’s mental health through a program of awareness.
4. I’ve got a headache from my sore tooth. No, I am not going to the dentist.
5. I’m running out of days to pick up my shoes from the post office before they send them back to IC.
6. I really need to burp. Why are you all so judgmental? I can hear what you are thinking. Burping, or the need to burp, is a painful experience for me. It’s not dodgy, it just sounds dodgy.
7. Dodgy tuna sandwich. I am afraid of sandwich day at work now.
8. I think I’m getting a cold. (It’s probably hay fever.)
9. There is a lump on my hand and it hurts to use the mouse. If I don’t leave now, I’ll end up with carpel tunnel.
10. My bad attitude is transferring itself onto the clients—it is my civic duty to go home because bad attitude on both ends of the phone does no one any good.