Ten Things I Need to Purchase for my Holidays.

*Aka: Another Shopping List.

1. Netbook and a bag for it. I have now purchased (today, eek) the netbook—a Dell Mini 10v. The biggest dilemma was the colour. I thought I had decided on cherry red, but when I saw the jade green option as I was ordering, my resolve was put into question. I decided to text V—— for his opinion; then I spun the mexican bean game top (with its equal number of sides of red and green writing, it is, I have decided today a perfect way to decide between 'go' and 'woah', or between cherry red and jade green) and got green, yay, the best of three red, mmm, then best of six red, mmm, don't think I want red after all; then I googled 'cherry red or jade green' and got a blog where a man had exactly the same problem and chose green because his wife said it was good for his eyes. V—— texted back with red and, poor thing, got a 'but don't you think green would be nice' text back. So the green one is ordered. Now I will just have to decide on a bag. I think I like the ones they have at Borders, made out of wetsuits. They are quite funky and not terribly bulky.
2. Bike shorts. Plain, simple, un-nappy-ed bike shorts that you see all the time until you actually need to buy some and then no-one stocks them. This seems a common experience amongst shoppers and supports a theory that the world doesn't actually exist. How can everyone be looking for something that isn't, all of a sudden, available, and there still be things in shops? Unless everyone is looking for the same thing, which seems unlikely. Everything is obviously just a figure of my imagination. But why then is my imagination sabataging my need for a pair of bike shorts—isn't it MY imagination. Who's controlling this thing?
3. Roll mat. I am in love with my new roll mat. It's like a big feather bed, only it's not. But compared to the piece of cardboard I had before it is divine—soft, airy and warm.
4. Olay cream. It moisturises and protects from the insipid (not really) rays of the British sun. I keep lying. But it is a little bit true, the British sun is a different, less painful sun. This is a lie that gives you cancer I know.
5. Advil. I love advil. It's red(ish) and it makes bad things go away.
6. New Undies. (No, you do not need new undies. Every single thing that happens is not an excuse to get new undies.)
7. Walking Shoes. As opposed to walking boots. I fancy getting some of the Keens we looked at on the day of the Melbourne Romp. It was like a day couldn’t be complete for women without a shopping bit at the end. The Keens are ugly but they look quite comfy and would serve as hiking shoes if I am feeling footloose.
8. Large Silk scarf. Idea abandoned for this when I realised that in this country a large silk scarf is one of three things: hard to get; expensive; and; very tacky colour wise. I wish I hadn’t lost my lovely sarong. It was the perfect scarf/towel/cover-up. This was an idea to replace it. it can’t be replaced.
9. Teeny-weeny shampoo and conditioner. For my teeny-weeny hair. No need for quantity here. Not enough hair, not enough days when I wash it, and even teeny-weenier bottles of shampoo and conditioner in most B&Bs.
10. Sequins. There will be one sequin for every kilometre on my spotty dress. The further I go the shinier I’ll get.

Ten Items I Could Buy on eBay with the $1.52 I've Made This Month on my ING Savings Account.

* Disclaimer: Because this is a time intense list, a certain amount of leeway has been applied and items  are included that may actually be worth $1.52 in an alternative currency. Sorry for any disappointment that this may cause if you are actually trying to buy something for $1.52, but this doesn't allow for postage anyway so you must be prepared to pay a tad more anyway—you don't get something to $1.52 anymore, you know. Also, please keep in mind this is a list, not a factual guide.

1. One hundred and fifty-two hand carved wooden dog figurines. And very odd looking dogs at that. Postage: $8.73.
2. Twelve gold-dust lampwork glass rings. Large clunky rings with swirls of coloured glass in them, and yes, sprinkled throughout with what must, at the price, be genuine gold-dust. Postage: Free to the US and we are closer to China so, hopefully, also free to us.
3. A Homarid Spawning Bed, Magic: The Gathering, trading card. It wasn't quite what I imagined when I read the words 'spawning bed'—in fact I was a little afraid to click in case it affected my ASIO file, but it is more like a garden bed where you grow 'things' of, seemingly, the monstrous persuasion. Postage: free (it'd weigh all of a gram!)
4. Sixty Pastel Hands. This is a bizarre world. These are hands punched from pastel acid-free paper to use on your scrapbooking. I suppose it's not so odd when you put it like that. Postage: Sixty cents.
5. A Black Tie. Four inches wide. New and from Wrexham Ties UK which sounds fancy at the least. This is one pound which converts to approximately $1.52 Canadian. A bargain. Postage: Two Pounds to Canada. This is complicated international trading scheme isn't it?
6. Five hundred bb's for your bb-gun. You can get them in blue, green, orange and yellow. If you are feeling flush though, spend the whole twenty five dollars and you'll get a free pistol! Postage: $1.79. And gut instinct tells me this may be an American site.
7. A Gothic Victorian Steampunk Black Lace Bracelet/Cuff. That's good value. It's also a good idea. Mmm, the ever circling cogs are incorporating inspiration into ideas for [company name not yet registered] items. Postage: $3.50 USD.
8. Minus Anion Healthy Sports Wrist Watch in Ion Black. One: what do these sentences mean—I think it makes sense, but there is apart of my brain going 'alert, alert, con in progress'. Two: how do they sell these things so cheap. This is 1.13 euro to buy: in Europe, where its aimed, how much is the retailer selling it for? Something tells me not 2.26 euro. It's all wrong, and now that the Internet makes things both more and less invisible, you get the sense of its wrongness. Postage: Free from China to Europe.
9. A blue, white and silver striped top, collarless with tied sleeves. Reminiscent of an Indian sort of top. Second hand. It is size 26. I can't say why the seller is selling because it would make me a hypocrite. Postage $8.00.
10. One yard of pale cream Romney wool combed for spinning or weaving. Again, no idea what that means. Its wool. But you'll have to do something with it before you can use it. Postage: $3.50 US.

Number of items actually purchased: none!

Ten Items I Desperately Need to Purchase at the Supermarket. Aka: My Shopping List.

1. Radiant washing powder. Have you noticed that some things at the supermarket have rocketed in price compared to others. Maybe it's a weight to fuel consumption ratio thing. Washing powder is one of those things. Dog food was another. Everytime I go near a supermarket now I check if Radiant is on special because otherwise I can't afford to buy it. Before you ask: B—— prefers the smell of this one.
2. Veggies. I have some spinach in the fridge. That is all. Until I get the fridge I was going to put in my savings list (until I realised a fridge wasn't an incentive for me to save), the number of vegetables I can fit in the existing one is limited. Those of you out there who have had to see me eat the same thing day after day, will know what a relief (to them) it will be when I can veggie-load and make different meals every day. In the meantime, at least one other vegetable will constitute choice.
3. Fruit. Same as above but only two serves a day instead of five or more.
4. Marshmallows. Isn't that a staple item in everyone's shopping list. A sugar boost at only seventy-seven calories for ten marshmallows, no fat. The pink and white ones.
5. Milk. The current flavour of the epoch for milk is lactose free. I like the idea of soy a lot—especially as a possible way to avoid HRT (according to some sources and not at all to others)—but it makes a weird London-bathwater type ring around my cup. I got tired of that. The lactose free is good, but they turn the lactose into fructose, and also, it seems, into fat, so here is the sugar and fat I lost on the marshmallows. Hate it when you find something you wanted to lose.
6. Eno. I think Eno is the next-big drink to be re-marketed. First there was the rebirth of Lucozade as an energy drink rather than a hangover or gastro cure. Then the very uneconomical one-Berocca-twisted-into-water drink. Now I think they will have the twist-technology for a spoon of Eno. What a money-spinner. I’ll buy my energy drinks in bulk thanks. Oh, but I actually need it because I’m burpy.
7. Marshmallow whip. Like the many other items that Coles addicts me to and then denies by removing from the shelves, this one is something I search for in vain every time I pass the condiment aisle. The others are Coles Stem Ginger cookies (now replaced with an inferior version with no actual stem ginger in them) and those long windy liquorice straps (oh I love those). Actually, looking at that list, it seems that maybe Coles is looking after me. Why is what’s good for you so painful?
8. A teeny-weeny light bulb. I am always in search of this light bulb. The problem is that although I know it is teeny-weeny, there is not much else I know. It is possibly tear shaped and it is either screw-in or bayonet. If I could just get that teeny-weeny light bulb, I could read in bed and then turn off the light without having to get up. That would be wonderful. Maybe after I have done this I will go and look at the blown bulb and get the answers to the universe's great questions.
9. Advil. I like the little round brown Advil pills. But again Coles has stopped selling them. They make me feel like I am travelling as that's where I got my little bottle, and that's what I take when I go.
10. Floss. Like fruit and veggies and other good intentions, floss is considered and rejected for chocolate biscuits and cake, thereby creating a greater need for itself that in turn is unfulfilled. Oh, the strange merry-go-round of life. Don't forget to buy floss ... ooh, Tim Tams.

Ten Savings Goals and My Rewards for Getting There.

* I have opened an ING account after all these years of talking about it. Interest rate is so much better than the bank I currently deal with. (You should smarten up current bank I deal with, people shop around you know.) Now it's time to save for that deposit. Because I like spending more than I like saving, I have set up a reward system which both inspires me, and justifies purchasing the 'essentials' I feel I can't do without. Each goal has: a name for the transfer over to ING; the value of the reward; and; the subsequent target in order to be able to purchase it.

1. Map and Mat—I 'need' a map cover (small) and a new inflatable roll mat (Prolite Women's, plum) for my trek this year; $26.95 and $199.95; Goal: $1326.90.
2. Pole to Pole—sense of achievment, very inspiring—I 'need' two hiking poles (Airshock Titanal Compact); Two x $129.95; Goal: $2459.90.
3. Phone home—I 'need' a Dell Netbook to stay in contact with my loved ones while I am away, and to stay on top of these lists—look how far back two weeks away put me, imagine five weeks!; $697.00; Goal: $3997.00.
4. My choice—I 'need' to get five more pairs of Irregular Choice shoes—the amount here is changeable dependent on the final choice of which five; $605.00; Goal: $6005.00.
5. Coat—I 'need' a new winter coat—possibly by the time I get it, due to the whacky order of things 'needed' in this list, it will not be winter any more; $300.00 guestimate; Goal: $8300.00.
6. Feather bed—I 'need' a new doona, pillows and woolen underlay; $440.00; Goal: $11040.00.
7. Fossil—I 'need' a new bag big enough to carry everything around and still look fabulous, feel textually marvellous and smell like new bag; $269.00; $14969.00.
8. Who's Been Sitting ...—I need an office chair for my study—note the lack of inverted commas, I actually do need this or my back will melt; $399.00; Goal: $19199.00.
9. Tie me up—I 'need' two corsets, I just like them, they're waist-y—Riding corset at 'Corset Design', and TBA Overbust (how to choose); guessing $700.00; $24000.00.
10. Pack it away—I 'need' an Ikea wardrobe—only thing is they no longer have the one I want, so this is wardrobe guestimating only; $1500.00; 27500.00.

You may have noticed that none of the figures in this add up correctly. That is because I remembered an eleventh thing that I 'needed' and so I have added a hundred dollars per goal to make up the thousand I will need for my canoe. Whoo hoo! That's one of my favourites.

Ten Things to Spend my (approx) $150 of Overtime Money on.

* I know, you thought I never did overtime. You thought I always said that I have a 48 hour per rotation threshold before I lost all will to be civil to callers. Well, it was overtime in an air-conditioned building or sleep through a thirty degree night in a non-airconditioned bed. Which would you choose? And now I can go shopping.

1. Pair of Irregular Choice shoes. (See: http://www.irregularchoice.com/, and help me decide which ones)
2. A refrigerated air-conditioning unit.
3. A massage.
4. Start an ING account to save for a deposit. (Boring!) (Sensible!) (Oh, stop fighting you two)
5. Lots of panadol. (I am not sure if it was the overtime, or the riding to work in forty-four degrees that gave me the stunner, but I need more panadol, now!)
6. Renew my Yoga subscription.
7. A very cute dangly bracelet.
8. Three visits to Gold Class. (Let's start with Sherlock Holmes. Robert is doing for Holmes what Johnny did for pirates. I am intrigued.)
9. Off Broadway Last Minute Tix. (Eek, holidays are so close now!)
10. Jet Hovercraft thingy (you know the ones) through the Everglades.

And those were just the sensible options. I mean, I could have bought more books!