1. Download i-tunes. Takes a bit and download credit
2. Download Italian Lessons onto an i-pod. Ditto.
3. Download porn. That’s just wrong.
4. Researching somewhere to go for a cake. You are in a café for goodness sake: have one of theirs.
5. Purchase a coffee shop online—or at least research it. Especially if it is in the same area. Although, maybe the reason you are even considering buying a coffee shop is the bad standard of the one you are in. Either way, it is a conflict of interest.
6. Download The Shawshank Redemption over four hours while sitting on just one (arguably giant) mocha latte. The specificities included here give the appearance that these events may have occurred. This may be an illusion and all inappropriate actions may be mixed and matched to make it sound, well, more interesting than life.
7. Skype—loudly and annoyingly. It’s a level up from talking on your mobile.
8. And a level up again—have internet sexual relations.
9. Email the sanitation department about the bug you just saw scuttling past the kitchen door. Again there is an argument that this is deserved misuse. This is why ethics is such an irresolvable life question.
10. Walk out at the point where they are subtly hinting at closing by sweeping around you and placing chairs on tables, and stand outside finishing what you are doing while they faff around forgetting to disconnect from the web—that can take a while.
Wear 376: Calling All Intergalactic Pokemon Hunters
5 months ago