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Ten Things I Want to Know How to Do.

1. Fix cars/bikes. Then I wouldn't have to go to the mechanics. I would think semi-seriously about getting back on the station wagon. Or at least either my Vespa, or a diesel mini coupe.
2. Make shoes. I think it would be the end of my academic career. At this point in time I don't a thing in the world wrong with that.
3. Self-diagnose and self-treat all my own illnesses and surgeries. I am getting there with Dr Google. Worked out I have gall bladder issues, and B— doesn't have appendicitis. I am thinking of removing my cancerous moles next weekend.
4. Speak French. Of course, if I make shoes this will not be needed. But if I go ahead with the PhD, then French will be helpful for the project I have in mind. (Secrecy maintained for upcoming list regarding possible PhD topics.)

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Ten Things The Media Has Ruined By Telling Everyone About It.

* Luckily I have only a handful of readers. Otherwise, I would ironically be doing the same thing as the media by further advertising these secret fabulous things that I don't want to be one of a hundred million people attending.

1. Storytelling at the Dog's Bar.

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Ten Things I Like About You J——: On Your Birthday.

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Ten Things That Sound Okay as Words, But Scary as Chemical Equations.

1. Coca-cola=okay. Of course, the true recipe is a secret, but popular consensus has that the equation is: C17H21NO4=scary.

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Ten 'How Many's'.

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Ten Reasons It Would Be Better If St Kilda Won The Grand Final.

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Ten People Who Did Things We Just Take For Granted.

1. Linnaeus (1707-78): He devised the binomial nomenclature system for naming fauna and floral by genus and species. Inventorus spectacularis.

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Ten Terrible B-Grade Movies I Would Rather be Watching Than Sitting in This Awful Un-Ergonomic Office Chair.

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Ten Jobs Justin Beiber Could Get Until He is Old Enough To Sing About What he Sings About. (JH)

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Ten Badges Weighing Down My Lanyard and Their Significance.

Ten Dilemmas as to Which Two-to-three (Who Are We Kidding, You Know You'll Get Three) Pairs of AW10 Irregular Choice Shoes I'll Get on my Pshoedo-Methadone Program. Please Vote.

* Please vote for your three favourites.

* See the options at My Wishlist on http://shop.irregularchoice.com/shop/wishlist/43596/?seal=2c45471b2dbf8bddbf3f447d65cbf34c

1. Little Fish: Orange/Red. Votes: I
2. Sweet As: Gold. Votes: I
3. Sweet Tatties: Black. Votes: I (Update: Have replaced these with the outrageous Shoes Special! They're Out of Stock and price TBC—they are from the Sadlers Wells stage show, in the 'Violently Come Dancing' scene. IC are currently taking votes to see if they will produce them for consumers. I've voted.)
4. Magic Pony: Red. Votes: IIIII
5. Hopscotch Heave: Navy and Pink. Votes: I
6. You're a Star: Metallic Green. Votes: I
7. Tickling Loris: Blue. Votes: I (Update: Size 37 Out of Stock. Disaster. Although no-one is voting for them, this pair is high on my own list. I have added Size 36 to the wishlist, but will need to bug them for measurements. Hopefully they fall in the too big 37s and a 36 will work better anyway. Fingers crossed.)
8. Ball and Chain: Blue. Votes: IIII
9. I'm in Vegas: Metallic Green. Votes: III
10. Country Bumpkin: Blue. Votes: III

Don't forget: In Australia, voting is compulsory.

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Ten Ways Today Could Have Been Even Worse.

* I have a cold, I'm at the computer doing this $%#@ thesis, I've got an email full of capital letter comments about how bad this %$#^ thesis is, I am fulled with the essence of futility, and I don't even have time to feel futile. Could the day have been worse? I dare say so.

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Ten Best Wedding Songs—Alert, Alert: Cheeziness to Follow.

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Ten Terrible B-Grade Movies I Would Rather be Watching Than Sitting on This Totally Un-Ergonomic Office Chair.

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Ten Nouns That Should be Collective. 1. After seeing a plethora, an overabundance, of police members at work , V—— came up with the following collective noun: A Slack of Members.

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Ten Particularly Stupendous Collective Nouns. (RM)

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Ten Groovily Named Nail Polishes: Can You Guess What Colour They Are? (RM)

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Ten Henchman I Want in my Brain's Trust When I Exercise World Domination. (PR)

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Ten Things B.B.Q. Could Stand For Beside Bar-B-Que. (NW)

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Ten Possible Love-Intrests For Harry Potter if he Were Gay. (PR)

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Ten People That It Would Be Cool to Have as Your Marriage Celebrant. (PR)

* If you were that way inclined—towards marriage that is.

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Ten Types of Lollipop beside Lollipop.(SL)

* For the next few days you will notice initials besides the titles. At work, when, or more likely if but don't start me on this track because I will fill the blog on the inequities of this system, you are granted a holiday over and above the alloted allowance, you get the initial of the team leader or centre manager who has granted you this reprieve. The reprieve granted by my initialled work colleagues is from coming up with a top ten list title for the day. Thank you to all my (happy, willing, eager?) contributors.

Ten Weather Forecasts for the Next Ten Days: How Accurate is the Weather Bureau?

1. September 9th: Showers, 11-18. Actual weather: Showers, 9.1-18.3.
2. September 10th: Rain and Thunder, 10-16. Actual weather: Little rain, no thunder (damn), 9.4-14.4.
3. September 11th: Cloudy and Showers, 9-17. Actual weather: Cloudy, no Showers, 8.5-18.5.
4. September 12th: Cloudy and Showers, 8-19. Actual weather: Cloudy and Showers, 10.5-16.5.
5. September 13th: Showers, 9-14. Actual weather: Cloudy, No Showers, 10.9-15.5.
6. September 14th: Possible Showers, 7-16. Actual weather: Sunny with Occasional Cloud, 6.4-15.6.
7. September 15th: Showers, 9-17. Actual weather: No Showers, 9.4-16.5.
8. September 16th: Cloudy, 8-18. Actual weather: Cloudy, 8.4-14.9.
9. September 17th: Partly Cloudy, Building, 8-17. Actual weather: Cloudy, 8.7-14.9.
10. September 18th: Possible Showers, Partly Cloudy, 8-17. Actual weather: Showers, Cloudy 10.1-17.

The Weather Bureau doesn't altogether suck after all. Maybe it is not that they get it wrong, maybe it's just that we don't like what they have to say.

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Ten Jobs Great Writers Need(ed) to Have in Order to Actually Pay Their Bills.

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Ten Curly Spots on Lollipop.

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Ten People from Obituaries—Come On! You Read Them Too—And Why They Sound Like They May Have Been Interesting People.

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Ten Great Fathers of TV, Film or Literature.

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Ten Next Blog>>'s on Blogspot.

* Have you ever just kept clicking the 'Next Blog' button? You have to do it on different days because otherwise you would think that every other blog in the universe is about someone's child. They seem to be in thematic order. It makes me wonder what my blog comes up amongst. This 'Next Blog' adventure started in South America until the 'Next Blog' disappeared, then went back to families. Are these kids going to appreciate their parents hard work when they are older and nothing can be removed form the infinite memory of cyberspace?

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Ten Things I am Hangin' to Do When This Ordeal is Over (Thesis).

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Ten Excellent Books that Simply Explain Confusing Concepts.

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Ten Friends Destroyed at the Jaws of Lolly: Number Ten Being the Frankenstien Monster Built From Their Remains.

1. Jerry (Jerome), the purple smiling giraffe (ears).
2. Sydney, the rubber necked, supposedly indestructible lizard (TBA).
3. Chocolate, the $2 Shop teddy (TBA).