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Ten Really Quite Bad Excuses for a Plane Not Taking Off.

1. They are doing emergency repairs to the runaway. What kind of a repair requires planes to be stopped for only a couple of hours? I think anything that requires fixing on a runway takes longer than that to set—no?
2. They have to unload excess cargo because it is too hot for the plane to take off. It’s not a hot air balloon. Does flight depend on cold updrafts? Please don’t let it just be dependent on cold updrafts. I have a mystical belief in flight that I really don’t need to have de-mystified.
3. A staff member slept in. It must be the driver. Surely any other staff member is replaceable.
4. Security are attempting to remove a man who has drunk his duty free allowance between the gate and his seat. It’s always funnest in the US as the Marshals come on in force. But when it happens in New York, it can be hours before a take-off window opens up again.
5. The Cargo handlers are having to take extra time loading—with care, and possibly fear—a wild cat. A flight from Adelaide was apparently delayed due to cheetah loading issues. I think I would probably just say ‘yep, okay, I get that’, if I was to be told that was the reason for my delay.