Ten Possibly Life-Saving Cliches.

1. The grass is always greener—I like green grass, especially that lovely fresh first time grass that is currently growing outside the new school. It looks so soft. Novelty is essential. The post-modern life is all about boredom.
2. Full as a goog. I'm often full as a goog—with food, not alcohol. I love it as a statement. It's silly. I do think a goog isnt completely full though—but my scientist friends and family disagree. If a goog is completely full, why is there always that little indentation when you crack open a hard boiled goog. It makes me happy because even if you are as full as a goog, you have that little space left for more dessert.
3. Don't run with scissors. I think I used to use that line when I was selling insurance in the travel agent days. I would give people their form all issued and valid and say something along the lines of 'You're all protected now, but it still doesn't mean you can run with scissors.' I thought I was hilarious. Insanity works so much better in my current workplace—in fact it is expected.
4. Men: can't live with them, can't poison them by putting anti-freeze in their bucket-o'-margarita mix. Well actually you can, but you'll get caught.
5. Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Love this one. Most things are, aren't they. It puts many things about life into perspective, and, make you sound like an old granny, all at the same time.
6. The bee's knees. I cannot think of a better compliment. It is rather weird. How did it ever come to be someone who is 'to die for', 'above and beyond', 'head and shoulders above the rest', 'the cat's whiskers'. I really would like to have a good close look at what a bee's knees look like. For some random and unknown reason, I always imagine them with knee pads on them.
7. He doesn't float my boat. What exactly does this mean? He doesn't have sufficient surface tension to keep my boat afloat. I like tension in a TV show, maybe it applies to real life too.
8. Oh no! Sweetness and light. It is on the random list of cliches I am using to jog my memory (cliche) about the cliches that I think are essential for living. I call my bunny bear by the similar sweet knees and light, thinking I had heard it somewhere but it was otherwise a me-ism. Turns out it is one of two thousand cliched cliches. I am not sure I want a cliche for living that I thought wasn't. I'm confused.
9. You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time. Pleasing any of the people any of the time is a little over-rated though—they're just so darn fininacky. But just trying to please yourself is also a problem. Accept disappointment will happen is possibly the best way to handle life.
10. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lived before. It is hard to be open to the possibilities of the universe—maybe more so as you get older and more tainted, but this is the key to a fabulous life. I make this my life's cliche by often preaching it but not practicing it. It stays in the front of my mind regardless of my inaction.