365 Top Ten Lists. This is my project for 2010.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Ten Really Odd Things About Brits.

1. They park on either side of the road, all higgledy-piggledy.
2. They memorise who arrived at the bus stop and in what order and then they board the bus accordingly.
3. They universally all own terrible shoes—and, unfortunately, they wear them.
4. They actively train their landlords (of pubs not rental properties). There is a strange importance to the customer being right that usurps the ownership of a business. This is exacerbated by the landlord often being from somewhere else. The work required for a landlord to be accepted in the countryside seems monumental.
5. They almost all seem to have some sort of obsession that occupies their leisure time: dogs, trains, Roman History, tanning, canals …
6. They still believe they are the head of a mighty empire. Look at their recent offer to absorb Ireland back into the fold because \of the latter’s financial crisis.
7. They chat to everyone—EVERYONE—on trains, buses, sidewalks, walking paths, hotels, public bathrooms, public spaces—everywhere.
8. They have the same relationship with dentists as I do. And teeth to match.
9. They are ever so nice, civil and wonderfully polite. Well, just some of them. It’s more noticeable in the country because the country has been washed over by the grey wave or retirees. Rudeness still occurs in cities—or London at least.
10. They need a license to have a TV. Can you imagine the test? Is there a written and a practical test? Does the guy from the license issuing centre come down and sit beside you on the couch while you try to operate the remote control?

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