365 Top Ten Lists. This is my project for 2010.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Ten Sleazy Sides to Charleston.

*Information for much of this posting was garnered from a tour taken in said city, entitled 'The Dark Side of Charleston', run by Bulldog Tours. If you are ever in Charleston I would highly recommend you visit them: http://www.bulldogtours.com/

1. Well, let’s see. I heard she likes corsetry and other modes of restriction. Oh, you mean the place. Sorry.
2. Our tour leader came out to start the tour with a bag full of bottle tops. He explained he was going to deliver them to a stripper friend with a greeny conscience. I am sure it’s a ploy. I am sure every person in the tour thought we would go to a strip joint, and they could justify it as part of the tour and not ‘something they would ordinarily do’. We didn’t go to a strip joint. There was residual disappointment. Wes went to a strip joint. You don’t have to take a tour.
3. Stockades, apparently, have a second element of punishment on top of the face-on humiliation and rotten fruit assault. Males and females in the stockades were often raped. One man, whose wife was in the stockade for adultery, sold tickets for the ‘privilege’.
4. Cemeteries. We have op-shops, the Charlestonites had the cemetery. A great place to get some second hand jewellery and clothing and on-sell, like on ebay, to made a few extra dollars. One gentleman apparently thought he could re-animate the dead. He grew partial to one of his experiments in particular, and would ride around with her propped up in his carriage.
5. She is working on some raunchy literature. She even has a nom de plume so that this little money spinner doesn't interfere with her ambitions to win literary note. Oh, gosh, sorry. I am talking about the person again. Back to it. Don't mind me.
6. JFK allegedly spent a little time down in Charleston before he entered politics. Making mad, crazy love to a woman intricately linked to the Nazi's—Inga Arvad. Scandle and shock. This is very hard to find information about on the net—except from conspiracy theorists. Oddly it doesn't show up on official biographical web sites. Is someone trying to hide something here?
7. The Days Inn. During an election, or something along those lines, a TV crew set up in a motel room at the Days Inn and called in a hooker. I think they were showing the availability and skill set of 'escorts', rampant misuse of government funds,  or something along those lines. This was told to us as we stood in the carpark, behind said hotel, at the end of the tour. The guide asked everyone if they were okay to find their way back to their hotels. 'Where are you guys staying?' he quizzed us. 'The Days Inn.' Hope it wasn't room 224.
8. St. Michael's Church. Loved this, although its not really sleazy as such. The guide was speaking about how the church lamented its parishioner's behaviours in church. They were told that a number of things were not suitable, like bringing their dogs, smoking, and drinking. Ironic, then, that a minister of this church was terminated for baptising a bear while off his tree. Besides the whole 'animals not being allowed in heaven' business, I believe he deserves some kudos—can you imagine trying to dunk a bear's forehead in a font?
9. Ask her to do the wink. It is very sleazy if caught at the wrong, or right maybe, moment. I think that's a hangover from the life where she was the small Sicilian man.
10. The High End Bordello. Girls from this bordello were so well off that they could wear the latest fashions from Paris. This meant confusion in the streets, and high society women ended up propositioned. It became an unwritten rule that girls from the bordello would wear red shoes. A lifted hem saved many a man from an awkward faux pas. Today, still, in the upper circles, if you attend a party in Charleston wearing red shoes, your reputation will be tainted. How could I live in Charlston—I love red shoes.

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