Ten Jobs That Seem Like Someone is Just Finding Something for You to Do.

Ten Jobs That Seem Like Someone is Just Finding Something for You to Do.

1. Advert. People in the States are paid to be advertisments. Nothing big-budget. Stand on the corner of a large intersection with a sign that says: 'All-you-can Eat Buffet Breakfast $4.99'; 'Subway—That Way'; 'Disney T-Shirts, Half Price'.
2. Fancy advert. Because there is so much advertising around, creativity is required. This employee has to dress in a cow suit, with half a football as a hat, stand on two poles, in the grass, at the side of a major roadway, to entice us to eat his boss' pizza. Was that in the job description when he applied?
3. Bellboys. Is it the standard of hotel we stayed in, or is the bellboy becoming less of a career option? Some people still prefer to pay someone to carry their bags. These people need my help regarding efficient packing. Read my book—'You Won't Need That'—in stores soon.
4. Cold Bouncers. When it is blizzarding outside, economics suggests turning off the automatic door, and getting one of your employees, sufficiently rugged-up and heater-equipped, to open doors only when absolutely necessary. Like regular bouncers, the nasty ones make you wait in the cold until someone leaves, before allowing you to enter.
5. Hostesses. I have been in the restaurant game. I always thought the hostess had the cushiest job. She sits on a chair, looks pretty (okay, that can take work) and then occassionally shows someone a table—if they're in a restaurant, if they are in the twenty-first century, I think they possibly know what a table is and the function it performs—and gives them a menu. Then, back to the chair. I'll warrant, when it's busy they also have to write things and call out your name. I still maintain they must be someone's niece.
6. Clarifiers. The man I saw in this position waits at the head of the queue of an attraction. When you get to him he clarifies with you what sort of a ticket you are going to purchase. He then directs you to the cash register where someone sells you the ticket. Someone is being fooled if they think this means you spend less time at the register. It just means the lady at the register waits longer between clients.
7. Pedestrian Safety Officers. You are thinking Lollypop Person's, and that they are important employees. These are not Lollypop Person's. They work busy New York intersections and advise you when to cross. Only thing is that the time they tell you to cross usually coincides with the time when the white/green man is displayed. There may be the odd person in the world that does not know that green or white means go and red means stop, but when the red man was displayed, they chatted amongst themselves and paid no heed to those who either didn't know or chose deliberately to go against the man. It's either a silly job, or, they are bad at it.
8. Emergency Callmakers. Shhhh. Don't tell anyone that these people exist. But I am not sure if their job is the ridiculously silly one, or whether that moniker falls to the person for whom they create emergency calls—the calltakers. Their silliness in mutual. Regarding either, I don't understand why. Don't even ask me. I'll just sprout conspiracy theories—but if you need proof, ask me one day about the Holden Merino.
9. The night shift of the guy who sits beside the rail tracks and puts charges on the tracks so that when the train goes past it warns the workers ahead that it is approaching. There are no trains at night. This job would have definite merit in places where there are trains at night—I don't at all question that. The absurdity of this job is location orientated.
10. Retail staff at Anaconda. I am sorry to the few staff members we found who were helpful and in some way acting like people who serve customers, service customers, or, at least, sell stuff. But there were definitely a few who had been given a job just so they could say they had a job, could wear a black and orange t-shirt, and could pay tax, but who in effect performed no single useful function. Not even when you physically gave them your whole wallet in a desperate attempt to be able to walk out of the shop with a purchased item.

* And just when I thought I could never find another job for number ten, i found another number ten, so here is number ten, take two: 10.1 Any government job where you ‘carry on as normal’ while the in-coming government decides on whether your unfunded project will go ahead or be scrapped.