Ten New Year's Resolutions that won't last a week

1. Lose 1.5 kgs a month for a year.
2. Work out what my thesis is about.
3. Keep my cool on every call.
4. Make a top ten list everyday and blog it.
5. Write.
6. Be creative.
7. Clear my junk.
8. Be brave; take chances.
9. Save up a deposit. Addendum: ING account opened and saving incentive in place. Goal: $25000.
10. Don't worry about the small stuff.

Every year starts with a project. One year I took a polaroid photo every day. That lasted into February. I have the photos on my wall; they are an interesting artwork. Another year I went digital. I took a photo a day and that lasted well into July. That project highlighted two things for me: I walk the same way most of the time, and, you have to look closer and closer into the details of things when you see them everyday. Last year, I was going to do whatever my stars said to do according to the wacky predictions of Free Will Astrology (check it out--it's completely fabulous). I diligently wrote down every prediction until September. There were not the plethora of suggested activities I imagined, or, I was not creative/motivated enough to conceive them. I did do one thing as instructed: I made a shrine to my [girlie bits] from crocheted red wool. I still want to incorporate it into a moss green mohair scarf. I am looking for the right wool. It sits on my desk now and mystifies people as to its nature. While production was down on that project, there certainly is an encouraging increase in staying power. Maybe this year's project will last all year.

Why lists? I love lists. And I am already discovering that lists tell you something about yourself--like all art does. This blog is lost in the outer reaches of netspace. I am not confident that people will read it. I probably am hoping some won't. With all that in mind, maybe this project is just another way for me to work out a little bit more about myself.

This list tells me (and you) the following:
I am possibly overweight because eighteen kilos over a year is not going to make me too skinny. I am also not gung-ho about cutting out all the good foods and the couch sessions in one shot. I am studying. I am doing Honours and writing a thesis around Nip/Tuck and The Picture of Dorian Gray. I just have no idea of what orbit around them I am taking. I have lost my way somewhat ... I'll think about that later if I may. I work in a call centre--you may have deduced. A call centre where you are not always at your calmest. I am a emergency calltaker for the police. People are not always calm, rational or sober or sane. That's understandable. and usually easier to cope with. Non-involved, do-gooders, though, are often ridiculously rude and I have trouble staying 'nice'. I would like to change this behaviour. My work environment is a great source of lists. You will probably hear back from this quarter. Resolution four to six are related: they show I like to do and make and create things; they show I have to be encouraged to do that because I don't just fall to it; they show I am of the opinion that I will already not be doing them by next week. I hope I am wrong. I live in a house with no cupboards and I like to keep things just-in-case. I have fears. I am not a good saver. and I seem to like to worry--otherwise I wouldn't keep doing it.

To transcend, you need to know what is. To transcend, you need to accept.