Ten Considerations of 'Wouldn't it be weird if ...'

1. You were sitting in your car and someone came up and licked your windscreen.
2. You were in a restaurant, having a lovely, romantic dinner, and the fire brigade turned up, hoses at the ready, because it was a day of total fire-ban and there was a candle on your table.
3. You could hear something snoring in your ceiling.
4. You were burgled, and the thieves only took the window through which they broke into your house—or your bananas.
5. You bought a coconut last week and it suddenly, today, started ticking.
6. You were having a garage sale over the weekend and someone broke into your garage and sprayed all the stuff you were selling black, and then, insult to injury, then popped all your garage sale advertisement balloons.
7. You couldn’t leave your house because the neighbours had washed their car and you were hemmed in by soap suds all over your yard.
8. You went to bed and there was a family in it. And it was not your family.
9. You thought there was a crocodile in your suburban pond, at least a meter long, and everyone was petrified, but when the reptile catcher guy rattled the grass, a thirty centimetre lizard wandered out.
10. You hung your new stretchy, size ten lycra pants on your clothes horse. When you left home for a while they were nearly dry, but when you came back they were soaking wet, the elastic was all worn out and now they were size fourteens. You, of course, think this is more of the work of your evil drug-dealer neighbours.