Ten People I Feel I Can't Trust.

* Don't worry, or if you are a lawyer (and I say this because I don't trust you, even though you didn't make the list) don't get excited: No one is actually named in this list.

1. The people at Molescan. Disclaimer: I have never been to Molescan. But, I don't feel trust for an organisation whose only reason to be there is to cut bits off your body that look sus. If you get paid per bit, wouldn't all bits look sus?
2. Dentists. Same theory. Plus they smell odd. And there is something I don't like about people who fasten their clothing at the side of their body instead of front or back. It's not normal. I am not always a fan of normal, as you are probably aware, but this isn't a preferred version of not-normal.
3. Doctors. They never know anything. Every disease has either the same remedy, or a referral to someone else. How can you trust someone who has to Google what you think is wrong with you? I could have done that and saved myself fifty dollars and a trip to Medicare. Eeough. Shudder.
4. Mechanics. Because they are sexist. And don’t try to politically correctly guilt me into saying that’s a fallacy and mechanics treat men and women the same in this day and age of equality. If you try to say that I will add you to this list and also to the list of fools and illusioned people. Equality is bollocks! A woman is a way to make money on doing repairs that aren’t needed and ultimately don’t fix the problem—necessitating the return of the car to be fixed for the original problem and four new unnecessary ones, one of which was repaired last time and so this time is only billed rather than actioned as there is no point. No. I am not cynical. But I will say that when I get my yellow electric/hydrogen Mini Coupe, I am going to learn how cars work, what does what, and none of you horrible people will ever rip me off again. In fact, I’ll probably fix it myself. Ooh, that was a little bit of a rant wasn’t it?
5. Real estate agents/used car salesmen. I’m grouping them together because they behave in similar ways and so separately just take up space other annoying people could occupy. What I want to know is who those pitches work on? Surely no one falls for that sleazy smarminess. You would have to be a narcissistic egomaniac to be so pandered to that you would believe what they sell, wouldn’t you?
6. Insurance companies. I am not telling you anything in this list that you don’t already know. Quick to take, incredibly rich, slow to give. With policy wordings that mean you don’t get a payout whichever way you read it. I dislike them intensely, but they do fear so well that I buy it anyway. Unhappy.
7. Anyone who is selling you something and pretending that they are not. Examples include: Banks—it’s not about them making you money, it’s about you buying what they sell: home loans, insurance, financial advice; Charities—they don’t want to tell you about homelessness, illness, breaches of human rights or whales, they want you to pay for them (and even if you offer to help out with what little you can, they want more: ask me about Greenpeace one day if you want a rant).
8. V.C.A.T. Or any government body that gives the illusion that you have a voice, when, really, the little person never wins. How do you get to be someone who V.C.A.T. sides with? The little person applies for a permit to make a small change and is knocked back; the person building a monstrosity gets it through. Does V.C.A.T. get blinded by bullies—like how rudeness seems more likely to get you somewhere than sugar these days, but it has to be rudeness from the core and cannot be affectation.
9. The media. Is truth ever exciting enough to sell? Even the TV channels have to sell untruth to get you to watch. Channel Ten edit promos so that a show will look much more controversial than it turns out to be—think the ad where they made it look like Olivia from Law and Order: SVU was jealously stalking Elliot, and the scenes were actually not related and not even in the same half hour.
10. Anyone with a political, religious, spiritual, moral, ethical, psychological or lifestyle bugbear or agenda. Live and let live people. I am not going to think like you so don’t push your agenda at me unless you are willing to engage in debate in which there is the possibility that we both walk away believe exactly what we believed when we came to the table. And, let me just warn you now—I like to be the Devil’s advocate.