365 Top Ten Lists. This is my project for 2010.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Ten Ways to Make Your Hammies Hurt.

1. Weed the side of the house for four hours.
2. Climbing stairs: to the fifth floor for breakfast or lunch (from the 3rd); up the Eureka Tower for charity.
3. Walking with a backpack loaded with pillows and bar bells on the beach. This also gives you sandy socks and a blister under your arm. It was meant to be an ongoing training regime, but the blister is holding me back.
4. Yoga. Oh, I miss you lovely yoga. I would gladly take a stretchy hammie for you. Come back to me.
5. Tearing it from the bone in a football game like poor Nick and other assorted football players. This would be unlikely to happen to me, and, saying it will ‘hurt’ is a bit of an understatement.
6. Practising to be like the dancers on SYTYCD by doing developpe a la seconde in bed. That, or any other arrangement of limbs that facilitates a direct knee to face relationship.
7. Walking all day in flippers. I haven't actually done this but I would imagine the effect would be sore hammies.
8. Jogging on the spot in the backyard for five songs on the i-Pod. With no warm up. On another fitness regime that lasted one session. Maybe my one-sessionness is because I get sore hammies. No, its because you dislike exercising intensely.
9. Zumba. This is not spoken from experience, but when I have ever sat on the couch and watched a paid-presentation for Zumba, I have got a sore set of hammies. That may be because of the weird way in which paid-presentations somehow keep you rooted to your spot, never moving, never able to turn off the TV and go to bed, even though the presentation goes for about three hours and is made up of the same five minute soundbite eternally repeated. If you don't understand this, see my blog on why I think I may be susceptible to hypnotism.
10. Kick starting a Vespa that hasn't been started for many years. I love it, but I can't ride it. I don't have a licence or the wrist strength. It's on my list of a-hundred-and-one-things-to-do-before-I-die to put getting my moped licence on my list of a-hundred-and-one-things-to-do-before-I-die. That may be a diversion. Don't think too hard. Anyway, if you ever want to strengthen your hammies come over and try to start my bike.

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