Ten Things I Have Discovered About my Skull.

1. It is not grossly deformed.
2. There is a birthmark at the back of it—not a unique one but the one everyone who goes through a birth canal has. Only thing is: I didn't go through a birth canal. Riddle me that one, Batman.
3. I've obviously doinged it at some stage. It has a white indentation where no hair grows.
4. Having hair on your skull makes it much warmer.
5. My features don't, as I thought they might, gather about my nose like office gossips around a watercooler.
6. I have an unformed twin sister attached to the back of my head. Now is the perfect opportunity to get it removed. Sorry: her.
7. You know those twisty bits—where your hair does a whirlpool and goes off to another part of your head, the bit that always hurts first after a long international flight when you haven't been able to wash your hair for a while. A hairdresser told me I had two. She lied.
8. When you have a long fingernail, and it breaks, there is a sensitivity in your fingertip because it hasnt touched things for a while. When you have hair, and then its all gone, your whole head has that feeling. It is very weird. It feels a bit displaced.
9. My skull is a little slimy. It must be down here, in the nitty gritty, that the oilyness of oily hair derives.
10. I've had to search hard, but there it is, another dint. No idea what I did.
Suggestion made: Thank you R——. 'While you have no hair, you should get a treasure map tattooed on your head, and then when you die, people will spend hundreds of years trying to find it.' Of course, the realisation that the tatooist may get to it first was raised. He will have to be ... (Can't say the rest on a public forum.)