Ten Reasons Why I Feel Apocalyptic Lately.

1. Ten centimeter hail stones fall from the skies on an afternoon where, moments before, brides rode in strapless gowns on open carriages, and muggy sweat gathered on brows sleeping in preparation for night shift.
2. Three feet of snow fell, twice in four days, in Washington D.C.—bringing the seat of first world government to an eerie stop.
3. Hundreds of thousands of people dying in earthquakes in Haiti and Chile.
4. Natural selection becomes survival of the one with the knife. For the first time, I am ashamed of the place I live.
5. Iceland erupting. All flights stopped to Europe. This is a malevolent being damning the overuse of fossil fuels. Hope he is over his hissy-fit by June. My no-car lifestyle pays for my use of aviation fuel—I'm carbon deficient.
6. Meteor makes the night sky over five American states a spooky green before exploding with a sonic boom that is heard for hundreds of miles.
7. All the bumble-bees are dying. When all the bumble-bees are gone, we might as well shut up shop.
8. Hundreds of thousands of litres of oil spilling into the Gulf from a pipeline that is so far under the ocean that it can't be reached to stem the flow, and, that is only able to be switched off from an oil rig that has been blown to smithereens. The astonishing advance of the human race is too fast for mere humans to follow.
9. The locusts are coming. This is your classic apocalypse stuff. where are the rivers of blood and the sacrifices of first borns. Now I feel really apocalyptic. And they're coming to town. It's like a bikie funeral.
10. And now,last but not least, we have the forty days of rain. Maybe not literally, but it sure feels like it. We have already hit our average yearly rainfall with a month and a bit to go. Keeping in mind, of course, that the average yearly rainfall has been decreasing lately because there hasn't been any therefore making it technically easy to reach—this is the hidden nastiness of statistics. Where is the Ark?